Beginnings are always so exciting, aren't they?! Perhaps that is why I'm so drawn to birth work; beginnings truly are beautiful to me. Everything is so fresh, new and I can't wait to take my first step so I can take my next. This is the birth of my passion, my business, my future.
I truly feel I have found my calling...
For most of my young life I have felt directionless. My inner woman has always known some truths, though. Those are, in no particular order, that, one, I am a teacher; two, I am a care taker; and three, I am an introvert. One thing about teachers, we make good students. So, upon graduating high school I found myself entering college. In retrospect, I'm pretty sure it was simply because I am a good student and it seemed like the thing to do, not because I had actually put enough thought into it. I started out as a Theatre major, got married, made some life changes and more than one move before I ended up with my BA in English. Soon after graduation, I find myself asking the question every person with a BA in English asks themselves, What do I do with a BA in English? I think there's even a silly song about it. Unlike a lot of degrees these days, English isn't one where you graduate with a clear path in life. Education majors graduate and become teachers. Pre-law students go to law school. Nursing majors become nurses. English majors, well, the problem is we can do a lot of things. There isn't just one career path for us to choose from which leaves most of us with yet another big decision to make. I chose to work a few odd jobs, have two beautiful children and then become a stay-at-home-mom.
Which brings me to my personal birth experiences. The births of my own to beautiful children were powerful, empowering experiences for me. Neither went exactly to plan, but both where exactly as they needed to be. My son's labor was long, my daughters considerably shorter. My first labor I ended up with Pitocin and Staydol, two things I said I did not want. But the second time around, there wasn't time or need for that. Another time I will go into detail about my children's births. But for now, let's say I fell in love with birth and I was sad. I was sad because I felt I'd missed my calling.
You see, after I got over that insane idea I would enjoy being an actress, I thought I was a teacher and I'd just go become a teacher. And I am a teacher. Just not in the way we typically think of teachers. When the teaching degree was going to take more than I was willing to spend in both time and money, I decided to just get a degree in English, as I am a lover of all things literature. So, I did not become a teacher. Grad school was a viable option, but I didn't want to go back to school simply because I am good at it. I wanted to go with a clear path and purpose. Finding none, I dreamed of starting all over and getting a nursing degree. I wished I had started with a nursing degree as I could have gone on to midwifery school by now. But, alas, here I am... Unwilling to commit to a very time consuming education program while my children are so young.
I am a care taker. Nursing school as always an idea I toyed with but never committed to fully. It seemed too practical for whimsical, day-dreamy young me. I have grown to understand I can be practical without losing the whimsical part of myself. But, nursing does not quite fit my mold, either. I am better at getting to know someone than I am small talk. I value deeper relationships and more meaningful connections. I'm an introvert. Let me pause here for a moment to say that being an introvert doesn't mean I'm unfriendly, shy, or backwards. It simply means that I'm more comfortable in one-on-one conversations, in more private settings and that crowds drain my energy rather than feed it. That's what makes me a good care taker. I like to slow down, think about what it must be like to be you (that's my whimsical working for me!) and make sure the energy I put into a space is worthwhile.
All to say, I truly feel I have found my calling when I found doula work. The teaching, caring, one-on-one, giving, loving work combine with the challenge of entrepreneurship is just right.
This is my journey. This is my doula birth.
I'm the owner of Sage Roots. Woman, wife, mother, doula, writer, bookworm, hiker, gamer, and Christian.